Liechtenstien Crackfic
by once.upon.a.fantasy
Summary: Lilli is being attacked by two guys, and her older brother is nowhere to be seen. Who going to save her this time? LichtxDenmark crackfic. Really more of a friendshipfic until the end. Human names used, implied Gakuen AU. Rated T for almost-rape.


**Most creative title ever! *self-five***

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**Liechtenstien Crackfic**

"R-really, I don't have a-any more m-money…" Lilli murmured softly, her small fingers scratching nervously against the brick wall behind her, as if looking for a secret door. The boy in front of her, who must've been a good five years older than her, as well as a foot taller, didn't seem to feel like letting the terrified girl go just yet.

"Well then, we'll just have to find another way for you to pay us." The boy sneered. He glanced over at his friend, who was lazily twirling around a barbed wire-wrapped hockey stick. "What do you think? How should the little lady pay up?"

The hockey stick boy looked at his friend, then Lilli, and back again, "Same way the little Asian girl did." He replied simply, a dark look crossing his features even though his expression stayed the same. The first boy broke into a wicked grin, placing one hand next to Lilli, keeping his arm just low enough so she couldn't duck under it.

The girl jumped at the sudden movement, attempting to press herself farther into the wall, but to no avail. She started babbling incoherently in Swiss, small tears of fear pricking the corner of her eyes. The boy's other hand flipped open a pocket knife and moved to the back of her shirt. Lilli shrieked as she felt the first button of her blouse come undone, only to be cut off by the knife pressing into her skin.

"Ah, ah, ah. No yelling, you hear me? Scream again and this might get bloodier than it should be." Lilli whimpered, shutting her eyes tightly, "Please leave me alone…" She whispered, flinching every time another button was cut loose. The boy seemed to be taking his precious time, taunting her as he slowly cut her dress off, while the second boy stayed on guard.

Suddenly, a muffled shout came from the boy with the hockey stick, distracting Lilli's attacker for a split second as he looked over to see what caused him to cry out. Lilli felt her hair whip in front of her face as something connected with the side of the boy's head, knocking him to the side. She took that moment to run, but her plan was ruined when she tripped, sprawling onto the ground.

Lilli flipped over to see a figure looming above her, joined by another one. Ignoring the pain in her knees and the palms of her hands, she started crawling backwards, shutting her eyes tightly. "Hey… We aren't going to hurt you." Lilli slowly opened her eyes, immediately noticing a black gloved hand in front of her. Trembling, she took it and was pulled gently to her feet.

As her eyes adjusted, she could see she recognized the two as boys who went to her school, Ivan Braginski and Mathias Køhler. She had never known of them to hang out together, but she did recall her friend Katyusha saying something about her brother attempting to—what was it? —_make friends_ with other kids.

She wiped the tears from her eyes, wincing as her hands stung at the movements. "Wh-what about the two…?" Lilli's gaze drifted over to a figure slumped against the wall, and another one in a crumpled heap a few feet away. "We knocked them out." Ivan said, tightening his grip around the water pipe Lilli had just noticed in his hands. He was looking to the side awkwardly, a light pink dusting his cheeks. Lilli glanced down and squeaked, pulling the hem of her shirt up to cover her chest, "I-I'm sorry! He was—and the buttons were cut and—huh?"

She was cut off by a coat being draped around her shoulders, her hands moving involuntarily to wrap it tighter around herself. Lilli looked up to see Mathias standing next to her, his usual black jacket gone. She hesitated for a moment before bursting into tears, sobbing into the boy's side as her hands, still bleeding, clutched his shirt. Mathias seemed shocked by the sudden action, but nevertheless placed a hand comfortingly on her shoulder.

When Lilli's crying dimmed down to a few sniffles, Ivan asked, "They didn't hurt you too badly, did they?" Lilli shook her head, "No… He just wanted to take my money, but I didn't have any, s-so…" She trailed off, as nothing else really needed to be said. Mathias smiled softly, "Don't worry about it. Ivan and I are just glad you're okay. Your brother's been worried sick, y'know. He sent us to go look for you." Lilli gasped, "Oh no! Big bruder! I was supposed to meet him next to the bus stop!"

The next thing Lilli knew, she was being picked up and lifted high into the air. When she finally found something solid to hold onto, it turned out to be Mathias's hat. "You've been through a lot," she heard his voice from below her as she adjusted herself on his shoulders; "Ivan and I'll come with you." Nodding shakily, Lilli relaxed, one hand holding onto Mathias's head for balance and the other wrapped around the end of Ivan's scarf.

It took less than ten minutes to walk the four blocks to the bus stop, where Vash was pacing back and forth frantically. Next to him was Roderich, attempting and failing to calm him down. As the Swiss noticed Ivan and Mathias approach with his sister with them, he broke into a run. Mathias lifted Lilli off his shoulders and set her on the ground. The moment her feet touched the concrete, she took off as well, "Bruder! Big bruder!"

Vash wrapped his little sister in a hug, not even noticing she was wearing Mathias's jacket, or that the palms of her hands and her knees were bleeding. "Are you okay?" he asked, holding her at arm's length. Lilli nodded again, "J-ja, Bruder, I'm fine. Ivan and Mathias found me before anything got too bad." Vash bit his lip, mentally trying to decide whether or not to ask Lilli what exactly had happened. A sharp look from Ivan kept his mouth shut, and he decided to leave it for later.

"Come on, Lilli. Let's go home. Dinner's waiting." Vash took Lilli's hand in his own, ready to lead her back to their house when she pulled away suddenly. "J-just a minute, Bruder. I forgot something." She darted back over to Mathias and Ivan, giving them both a tight hug around the waist, "Danke." Lilli told them, her German a surefire sign of her gratitude. Ivan smiled, "You're welcome. I assume we'll be seeing you around school, da?" "Definitely." Lilli replied. She turned to Mathias, about to give his jacket back.

"Keep it." He told her. "Are you sure?" Lilli's eyes were wide, as if no one aside from her brother had ever given her something before. "Yeah. I have more at home." Lilli nodded for a third time, watching Mathias carefully as he knelt down in front of her, "And don't worry about being attacked by any more guys. Ivan and I won't let anything happen you." Lilli leaned forward, pecking him softly on the cheek. "Danke." She echoed, before turning and running back over to Vash, who was waiting for her with a small smile.

As Mathias and Ivan turned to walk off, Ivan noticed Mathias holding a hand against the spot Lilli had kissed him. "You like her, don't you?"

Mathias glared at him playfully, "Shut up."

"I knew it. Don't worry I won't tell her."

"Yeah… Thanks…"

"Yet."

"Wha—Ivan! You wouldn't!"

"Ha! You do like her!"

Mathias grumbled something, most likely a swear, in Danish as he walked along,

"…Maybe."

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**Both of my favorite crack pairings in one fic! WOOT!**

**And by the way, yes. The two guys at the beginning were 2p!America and 2p!Canada.**

**I hope I got everyone's personality right, cause I've never really written Liechtenstien or Denmark before... Or Russia. Or Switzy.**

***facedesks***


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